There are moments in life that are hard to explain. Like when the most hilarious thing happens but then when you tell it over to new people they just stare at you. You can’t understand what they didn’t understand. “I guess,” you tell them, “you just had to be there.” And there are moments that you can’t explain because when you do people just assume you’re exaggerating. “Really, the fish was how big?” So I’ll try to tell you about Shabbos, and I’ll forgive you if you don’t believe me.
The culmination of the time my colleagues, students, and I had with our partners at Schieber Szandor was a shabbaton. I admit that I had some anxiety about this Shabbos. For one thing, the vision for this Shabbaton and implementation of the vision was really my responsibility. We had a team of people working out support and logistics; finding the right place, figuring out kosher catering in Budapest, but the programming, davening, managing the meals, all the stuff kids DID at the Shabbaton, that was my responsibility. And while I have run Shabbatonim many times before, I haven’t done it in quite these circumstances. First, I didn’t actually see the space we were using until 3 days before the event. At least 1/2 of the kids have never been on a Shabbaton before, never kept Shabbos before, never were separated from their phones for 25 hours before. 2/3 of the kids didn’t speak English as a first language. And, usually when I run a shabbaton I have a team of Judaic studies teachers to support the program. Here, I would have to rely on my colleagues who are not Judaic studies teachers, not Jewish, or themselves at a first Shabbaton. So I was anxious.
The place that had been selected was beautiful and spacious with all the types of places I had requested and more. Plenty of space to eat and pray and learn and laugh and talk and play. The rooms where teens and faculty slept were simple and clean. And once I saw that, I was able to start to imagine how we would use the space and how the Shabbos would work. I saw how our kids and their kids were getting along and that helped alleviate much of my worry as well. And as I sat down to draft a schedule I realized that if I am going to use all of the tools at my disposal and move us closer to guaranteeing success I need to yield some control to the teens themselves. I dedicated one activity spot to “game lead by SSG students” and one to “game lead by BT students” and that’s when things started to feel like they were falling into place. I easily found teens from each school to take responsibility for games. And now, I was excited.
Friday came quickly and it seemed as though I was suddenly handing out schedules and giving instructions and rooms to the kids and staff. We were blessed with gorgeous weather both Friday and Shabbos and that meant that we could take advantage of the pool (separate times for boys and girls.) I took care of some erev Shabbos things (set the shul, check the Eruv) and my teammates had a chance to enjoy the space and some down time. The kids all took care of themselves, as we knew they would. When it was time to gather for our erev Shabbat pictures everyone really did look their best; relaxed, well groomed, happy to be there, excited for what was to come.
Teachers know that there are those moments when you’re in class and you can see something click in a students. Like you’ve said something and it went in someplace really deep, someplace where it will grow and bloom. Well, what if you could see that in all 36 teens the entire Shabbos? That. That’s what I saw. Washing netilas yadayim, playing the ka-ka-ka-kadima a-a-a-achora dancing game, and just playing Solo (a Hungarian, and rather socialist version of Uno.) I saw kids that were thrilled to be in that moment. No phones, no internet, no drama.
What were the goals of the Shabbaton? To strengthen Jewish identity of the teens from SSG, to model for SSG what a great Shabbaton could look like, to give our kids a chance to grow through leading and teaching, to create an authentic Shabbos experience that could be appreciated by my Shomer Shabbos students and by the newcomer. I think we did that. And more. How do I know?
I know from the looks in the eyes of the kids when we sat together to learn. I know from the Hashem Melech dance party before maariv. I know from Lilu, a Hungarian student who stood up to share how important the Shabbat was to her. I know it from the hugs and tears of the teens when we left. It was an incredible Shabbos. But I guess you just had to be there.
