They just left. It’s been about an hour and I’m still crying. Crying because it’s over. The bond that was formed will still be everlasting but it’s still different. We will never stop talking to each other but there is something different. A good different and a bad different.
I’ll start with the good (everybody loves the good). The bond we made is still here and will forever always be here. I will forever love my Budapest friends (right now I’m trying to convince my parents to allow me to visit them over the summer!). The bond as I mentioned previously is everlasting. It’s the small moments that mean the most (as much as the programmed stuff helped us bond, it was when we were alone, being kids that helped strengthen the bond most). One of my favorite moments happened today (although there are so many and you are gonna hear a lot of them so…get ready). Today we had a farewell meal. During the meal, I was sitting next to my good friend (very good 
friend, because I love them all and it feels like we’ve been friends forever), Simon. I had been wearing Simons scarf (it is black and very comfy) since the Shabbaton. But today, I also had on his black beanie, his black sunglasses, and his black jeans (and fuzzy) jacket. Suffice to say, I had become Simon. And to add the cherry on top, he had on my red and black fuzzy jacket. This is just another example of us being kids. Us bonding in the way kids are meant to, by being silly and wearing each other’s clothing (I really love that scarf).
The bad moments aren’t actually bad, they are just really (really, really) sad. The farewell dinner is exactly as it sounds. Saying goodbye (but not forever). After the meal, where we all talked and had our last bit of fun came the sad part. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I had to do. Like I mentioned it an hour later and I still have tear after tear leaking down my face. But as much as it was sad, it showed everyone present the strength of our bond. Nobody wanted to be separated. There was talk of running and hiding in a closet to miss the planes so they wouldn’t have to leave (of course it was only talk). The hugs really made the tears fall. I must have hugged everybody twice. I was just standing there leaning into the hug from my newly (not so new, we were also friends in March) made friend, just crying. I was physically shaking with sobs. And even though we were hugging and trying to comfort each other it was still horribly sad. Sad that we had to leave. Sad that words weren’t enough. But that sadness is what was meant to be there. SOS is meant to make bonds like this. As much as nobody liked leaving and being the ones left, it was a necessity. The program was made for us to form the bond that made us want to hide our friends so they wouldn’t leave. The program was made for us to stay after they had left still crying (at least I was…still am actually) and talk about how we will stay connected through the time we are not together. We came up with a plan (but shhh…it’s a secret…for now) to keep us in touch (and maybe even still pray together every once in a while). So as sad as it was (and it’s heartbreakingly sad) it’s also a great opportunity to continue to share this bond (and make it stronger even though it doesn’t really need to be because it’s so strong now).
Now I told you I would share some of the little moments so after all that sad talk here is a funny one.
During the first night of dinner, I was trying to pour myself a cup of water (key word…trying), I spilled the water however. Next (same night) a new pitcher of water was placed on the table and in trying to move it I made some splash over the top. That was night one. I’ll skip the many other spills I had and go into the two most important. I had a cup of tea in the davening room. While picking it up I dropped it all into the carpet and my shoes (newish shoes). I cleaned the spill up of course but they got a little stained. Now this morning (Sunday morning) I was having a cup of passion tea. And surprise, surprise, I spilled the tea. It got all over the table and my shoes. I was so scared my shoes would stain. But thankfully they only have a little bit of color. But Glynis told me something amazing. It was along the lines of don’t worry about it, it shows you were here. And now whenever I look at my stained Tim’s I’ll know when it happened and all the feelings that were there.
My last moment was staying up until three am last night. Except I didn’t stay up. I fell asleep on one of my friends. And to show how bonded we are, they didn’t wake me up, they didn’t move me. I was allowed to sleep for a few hours on this person while they just sat there and talked with the people around us. It was a moment where everybody felt the bond. Because at three am were (really them) were all awake and just taking (I heard from a friend what happened while I was asleep). And despite being asleep, I still felt it. I felt the connection that Alan and Glynis made possible.
I cannot, and never will be able to thank them enough. They brought us together. They made out connection possible. And they encourage us to do what we want. For that, I am forever grateful for those two amazingly wonderful humans.-Lily G., Beth Tfiloh student
