My teaching went fine, as it was, but I apprehensions that I had from the first time I started preparing resurfaced. Why is it that I am here? How do I serve the Lauder Javne Iskola and, especially, its students? What can I do in a short time that might make an impact?
In my preparation I was first asked to lecture on American Jewish History. After I raised questions about this (I am not trained as an historian, and a dTHS colleague from the History Department is part of the team from our school), I was asked to teach about American Jewish Life. This seemed to be relevant. After all, perhaps if these Hungarian Jewish teens knew of the many varieties of Jewish experience available to American Jews, they might realize that they can shape the Hungarian Jewish landscape themselves.
As I was teaching, however, it seemed that they were approaching this as learning about another culture, not an avenue for exploration of their own. The realization hit me that what they needed was to explore their Jewish identity and not the ways that American Jews identify. However, I knew that I could not just walk in and expect them to want to discuss something that they could barely put a finger on but which might run deep, with someone they did not really know. I needed to start with getting them to explore how they have their own complex, ever-shifting identity as a Hungarian teenager in order for them to want to explore how Jewish identity might fit in with that. I spoke with Alan, one of warm, insightful, supportive SOS International team. I was at first hesitant, not sure how he might react to my sudden realization that I needed to shift gears suddenly and throw aside months of planning. He could not have been more understanding and helpful.
At dinner, my colleagues and I had our first review. I explained my misgivings, how I felt I was being asked to lecture about American Jewish topics, but that my heart was telling me to refocus on trying to get Hungarian Jewish teens to consider how Jewish culture might be something they might joyfully and intentionally cultivate and incorporate into their own identity, in ways that helped shape them and elevate them. My colleagues and the SOS International team (Alan and Glynis) were unanimously supportive of my trusting my pedagogical gut. Indeed, the SOS International team thought that my thinking was exactly in line with the mission and vision of this endeavor.
This was tremendously heartening. One problem: I now had the support for my vision of what I wanted to happen, but I did not have a lesson plan. How was I going to proceed? We returned from that review session after dinner to the hotel where I promptly realized if I was going to be effective, the first order of business was to get a good night’s sleep. I would just have to have faith in the universe, in G!d, and in myself that I could somehow pull this off.
